Sunday, 12 May 2013

Feeling pretty groovy

Today was Mother's Day in Australia and I spent the day with my kids, my husband and my mum.  The afternoon was spent cooking a roast lamb lunch and chatting with mum.  My husband took the chance to relax as I was starting to feel so much better since my operation.  He could breathe a sigh of relief as I started to make myself busy around the house, just like I usually do.  The kids did their usual thing and in the end, I guess we all ate too much but thoroughly enjoyed our meal and day together.  Mum left in the early evening and I started to get organised for the working week ahead.  I suddenly realised that I had made dramatic progress in my recovery, was happy and content and was feeling pretty groovy!

The first two days after my operation were very bad and I was naive to think that they wouldn't be.  The pain of recovery after surgery was intense and I moaned and groaned and carried on about it as if the world was about to end.  I couldn't help it.  All I felt was my helplessness and the inability to do what I usually did was driving me crazy.  I sought huge relief from very strong pain killers and that seemed to get me through.  I couldn't believe that pain could be so horrific and most certainly felt a lot worse after the procedure than I had done before it.  Any sort of movement was an effort, and trying to find a comfortable position to lye in bed was excruciating.  Every time I coughed or tried to move from my bed to a chair, was horrible, and I thought that I was never going to be the same again.

I felt all of these things because I just wasn't used to feeling this way, it was completely foreign to me.  My posts became almost cries for help to my friends and family and I struggled to get relief from the discomfort.  I pretty quickly realised that I was so very fortunate to have good health and truly sympathised with others where this sort of pain and anguish was part of their everyday life.  I realised pretty quickly that people with chronic illness and disease, with life threatening conditions that require ongoing treatment, must live in a world of constant sorrow and I felt incredibly lucky to say that I did not.  For I knew deep down, that what I was feeling would not last forever and that I had a light at the end of the tunnel, I could, and would, recover and truly thought that this was a wonderful thing.

In my social posts and especially in my blog, I tend to focus on happy, positive thoughts where the focus is on 'living life to it's fullest' and 'loving the journey a lot'.  I am a positive thinker, with a strong emphasis on solid, family values and the wonders and beauty of the world around me and the great people in my life.  I often exclaim that I have it pretty good and at the end of the day, always appreciate this, trying very hard never to take my good fortune, or health, for granted.  I take much pleasure in offering support and encouragement to my friends, who in turn, always respect me for that.  I am a firm believer, like many of us are, that life is far too short and can be ripped away from us at anytime, for any reason.  I aim to maintain a positive attitude and my glass is always half full, rather than half empty.  But when I foolishly did not prepare myself for the recovery of a very straight forward operation, that was a complete success, this way of thinking went straight out the window!

I am thrilled to sit here tonight and say that things are looking up.  I still have a fair way to go in my recovery journey and need to remember to be patient and give it time without 'over doing it'.  My attitude has improved enormously and I am starting to sound and feel like my usual self again.  I must reiterate that in life, we must never take our good health for granted, which is so easy to do.  It is vital to appreciate the little things that give us so much pleasure, forget the 'material outlook' and focus on the basics of life such as love, companionship, family, friends, good health and well being.  It is times like these when no amount of money can heal your pain for example, no amount of anything really can get you though, other than a bit of luck, a lot of clear thinking, a bit of common sense and reason and the will and determination to win the battle.

This whole experience has given me the chance to reflect on many things and understand myself so much better.  Being a person that has reached her 40's with not too much bother and pretty good health so far (touch wood!), being so miserable was something that didn't agree with me and definitely didn't suit me!  It has given me the chance to fully understand that there is so much to be thankful for, and I most certainly am.  I will continue to post and blog about the wonders and beauty of living, loving and the value of family and friends, now, just like I have always done.  I'll continue to waffle on, in 'typical LA style', as I like to say, and my dedicated readers will continue to enjoy reading it.  It will bring a smile to their faces and give them a bit of a giggle, as always.  Yes, I am feeling pretty groovy indeed :) xxx